Frequently Asked Christopher Walken vs Chuck Norris Questions:

Question: What’s the obsession with Walken versus Norris?

Well, this should be obvious, but apparently it isn’t so here we go.  Clearly, both Christopher Walken and Chuck Norris are awesome. Without both of them, this world would fall into chaos.  “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” but unlike the Declaration of Independence, we don’t believe all men were created equal.  One (Walken or Norris) needs to be crowned supreme.  The purpose of this experiment is to start a discussion about which is ultimately that one.

Question: Do you honestly believe that not all men are created equal?

Hello! Go stand in front of a mirror with a picture of Christopher Walken in your right hand and a picture of Chuck Norris in your left hand; now look in that mirror.  Can you honestly say you are equal to either of them?

Question:  But wouldn’t Chuck Norris just kick Christopher Walken’s ass?

If it was only about fighting, then the headline would be: “Chuck Norris beat-up Christopher Walken” but then this would be a very short, disappointing experiment and as I learned long ago (shortly after my first ass-whooping by someone other than my older brother), life is about more than just brute strength and kung-fu fighting. Life is about, how well you provide for your loved ones, how organized you are, how well you handle finances, and many other things.  So who would dominate these OTHER things.  That is the question.

Question: Where does Christopher Walken Reside?

At one point, Christopher Walken resided in the beard of Chuck Norris.  However, due to the power-struggle created by this experiment, Norris’ beard-fist evicted Walken.  But do not look at that as a sign of Norris Superiority – Walken was looking to upgrade to a more roomy abode.  Word on the street is he moved into the beard of Billy Mays.

Question:  My question about Christopher Walken vs Chuck Norris or individual question is not answered here.  What can I do?

Leave a comment below.  If time and Misters Walken & Norris allow, we’ll post an answer.


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