Walken vs. Norris: Guest Star Edition #2 “Get a Room Already!”

You may or may not be familiar with Bear Grylls.  He’s the host of a television show “Man vs. Wild.”  The premise of the show is this man (Bear) is thrown into extraordinary wilderness experiences such as being stranded in the Sierra Nevada mountain range with nothing but the clothes on his back, the parachute he used to fall safely from the skies, and a knife.  Unlike Les Stroud of Survivorman, Bear is followed by a camera crew (Les is bad-ass and films his own stuff).  It has been alleged (proven at this point?) that Bear has occasionally received help from this crew and even spent a night here and there in hotels.
To be 100% frank, we at Walken vs. Norris don’t really have a problem with any of this.  Isn’t a big part of survival using the resources in front of (or in the case of a camera crew – behind) you?  If you didn’t leave home without it, why not use that Amex to get a room at the hotel, motel, Holiday Inn?
But the rooms at the Pines Resort hotel at Bass Lake are often booked this time of year.  If only one was available, with whom would you want to share?
Our Special Guest:  Bear Grylls:
While Bear may have horrible gas, brought on by his diet of bark, grubs, and the occasional raw cat-fish, I’m sure the BBC would pick-up the tab.  Plus, you’d have the added benefit of learning something new.  Wanna know the absolute DUMBEST way fjord a river?  What about how to NOT glissade (safely)?  Just ask Uncle Bear.
Crowd Favorite:  Christopher Walken
Do you like pina coladas?  And getting caught in the rain?  Do you like making love at midnight?  Well, if you opt to room with Walken, you better.  “The Continental” as they call him down at the Motel 6 (it’s not just a skit on SNL), is always up for a good time.  Sure, you may not get a lot of sleep, but the Chapagna will flow freely!
Security Specialist:  Chuck Norris
“In these troubled times” [DRINK!] you need to be more vigilant than ever.  While you may not think you have anything of significant value in your room, the criminals out there don’t know that.  What if they kick-in your door in the middle of the night?  What will you do?  If you opted to room with Bear Grylls, you know he’d just jump out the window.  And Walken, well he’d be busy watching one of his “bed-time stories.”  But if you’d opted to room with Chuck Norris, well, that’s a different story. Chuck Norris doesn’t get home-invaded – Chuck Norris does the invading.

Walken vs. Norris vs.  Bear Grylls

In round-two of Walken vs. Norris, Guest Star Edition.  Today’s Special Guest is Bear Grylls.

You may or may not be familiar with Bear Grylls.  He’s the host of a television show Man vs. Wild. The premise of the show is this man (Bear) is thrown into extraordinary wilderness experiences such as being stranded in the Sierra Nevada mountain range with nothing but the clothes on his back, the parachute he used to fall safely from the skies, and a knife.  Unlike Les Stroud of Survivorman, Bear is followed by a camera crew (Les is bad-ass and films his own stuff).  It has come to light, however, that Bear has occasionally received help from this crew and even spent a night here and there in hotels. Continue reading

Congratulations Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris Beats Christopher Walken!

A hearty congratulations goes out to Chuck Norris over his first victory over Christopher Walken.  Norris won the poll “Nuclear Treasure Map Edition” by a margin of 2 to 1!

New Banner!

My colleague and friend Jessica created a new banner for the blog.  What do you think?

New Page Added: FAQs

Don’t Understand Christopher Walken vs Chuck Norris?

It’s come to our attention that some people “just don’t get it.” To help those people as well as answer other questions about the battle for supremacy, we’ve created a new Christopher Walken vs. Chuck Norris FAQ page.

Visit the page today for answers to common questions.  If you have  a question that is not answered, leave a comment and we’ll either answer it on the page if we think other people have the same question, answer it via email if it is of a more private matter, or ignore it if it is just stupid.

Walken vs. Norris: WWDC Keynote Edition

Walken vs. Norris: WWDC Keynote

Today kicks-off the annual Apple World Wide Developer’s Conference (WWDC) and as is tradition, the day of the Keynote.  Steve Jobs turned the WWDC keynote into quite the event – more like an Apple pep-rally than a keynote.  Unfortunately this year Mr. Jobs is too ill to present (but will he make a surprise appearance?) Continue reading

Walken vs. Norris: Tag Sale Edition

Tag Sales: Christopher Walken vs. Chuck Norris

Tag Sale, Yard Sale, Garage Sale – whatever you call them, the season is in full swing here in the Northeastern US.   On weekends, you have to be extra vigilant when driving.   Continue reading